I bet most of us like to be as independent as we possibly can. We like doing a lot of things on our own. Most of my life I’ve had this stubbornness and pride where I want to do everything on my own. I’ve always had this negative connotation related to needing help. Especially if you’re disabled. Society says you’re weak and stupid and should be treated like a child if you’re disabled. But my thoughts on it have gotten a bit better. I decided I would give God a little bit of access.
I surrendered some of my prideful stubbornness and moved on. Then I ran into another problem. And another. Now I’m sitting here writing about total and complete surrender. I’ve hit rock-bottom and I’m slowly surrendering everything to God. Dependence is a tricky thing for me. God created me with a mind and body that work in such a way that I need help in a lot of areas. But, dang, did He give me a fighting spirit! I’m not sure if He gave me the stubbornness and desire to be independent though. That might just be from my own humanness. But it’s there nonetheless. I know God gave me the passion to write. But He did also bless me with ADD and so I get easily distracted and go off track and forget what I was talking about! …What was I talking about?? Just kidding.😋
Anyway, when I run into a problem I eventually know somehow that it’s going to be okay. Like tonight, I was out with a friend getting some food. I got my food, a drink, and some fries for us to share. At the end when we were paying, my card came back declined.. My amazing incredible friend paid for me. (Bless her heart!) But at first I was upset about it because that’s definitely not the first time it’s happened. I was worried about my future and wondering if I’ll ever be responsible with my money. I don’t learn some things the same way most people do. But God always reminds me that things will work out somehow. And I’m learning how to just let go. Anyway I’ve run out of things to say so that’s all I’ve got right now. I hope anyone in a similar situation will learn to trust God in every troubling area. And I hope this is encouraging to some of you out there! I guess.. I’m not sure if this was that encouraging. But if someone thinks it is then awesome! God bless!☺