Sexuality is not easy to discuss, in general, but when talking about it with people who are not considered disabled, well, that’s when the taboo is at its most powerful.
It has been my experience that the world has very definite ideas about what the disabled community can and cannot do especially when sex is involved. The accepted policy is that one must have a body that is “normal” to have sex. Because this is the accepted idea, we swallow it hook, line and sinker.
I want to trash this idea and replace it with a truth that needs to be understood by all of us and cultivated. First things first, although sex is a physical thing, it begins in the control center we ALL have: The Brain. So much emphasis has been placed on the act of sex; it’s got us all balled up, confused and finally, insecure.
Second, we are all sexual beings from conception to death. Even when parts of the body malfunction, our brains are our strongest sex organ. When we begin a relationship with someone; and it is leading to a sexual encounter, know that communication is paramount. As it is in any relationship, understanding a partner’s needs as well as our own needs is what is necessary to have a highly satisfying relationship. The point is we have all that we need to enter into a sexual encounter even with a less than perfect body.
Sex is especially satisfying when we love our partner! After all, love is a gift from God. Without our love, life would not be much fun at all. I realize I am placing my own belief here, but hey, this is my story. It has always been apparent to me that if one is of age, and responsible then we deserve all the that this life has in store for us. Of course, this also means we open ourselves to everything; the good with the bad. That’s life as imperfect as it is!
Anyway, we need not allow people who don’t know the first thing about us to decide for us what is allowed in our lives. We do not have control over events, but we do have control over how we respond. We must not limit ourselves according to others’ ideas of what, how, where and who we are and what we can accomplish! We write our own stories and that’s how it should be.