Finding love

Being a person with a disability definitely makes it harder to find people to date and hopefully start a relationship with- but it's not impossible. I didn't date a lot. I dated men with disabilities and without disabilities. For me it was about the guy's personality. I was like a lot of people with disabilities, thinking that having CP meant that I couldn't compete with able bodied women. Believing that I would never find someone. At 37 I told my best friend, "I'm going to stop looking. I'm going to live a happy life. If someone fits into it, that will be a bonus." On that same day, after celebrating at a bar-b-que with some friends we took paratransit to the Boston Pops concert. I don't usually sit in the disabled section at an event but we decided it would be a good idea this time. We sat next to a guy that was sleeping on the ground with his hat covering his face. He had just finished working and asked coworkers where he should go that he might find free food. He got lucky- we brought leftovers and were glad to share. As they say, the rest is history. That was almost 22 years ago. My husband is a disabled veteran. Just like any other relationship, it isn't perfect. We have each other's back. He taught me how not to hold a grudge.

I'm not an expert but my advice to you would be- love yourself, have confidence, be open and you will attract the same kinds of people. Being in a relationship is not the ultimate goal. It doesn't prove anything to others. Don't compromise who you are or what you want. Being with someone should make you life better- no matter who you are.