Down In The Dumps : Depression After Brain Injurt
I always start my story "with I went to sleep as myself and some up a complete stranger"
On September 2014 Labor day, I suffered a bleeding stroke and brain aneurysm followed by brain surgery to relieve the pressure on my brain. This was all caused by a blood disease I caught in my mechanical heart valves to some routine dental surgery. The doctors told my family that If I survived, I would never be the same. After almost three months of learning how to walk, talk, read, write, chew and swallow, leaving everything all over again, the doctors were right about one thing. I will never be same.
What Depression Is:
Depression is feeling everything. And nothing all at once. Depression is a feeling of sadness, loss, despair or hopelessness that does not get better over time, and is overwhelming enough to interfere with everyday life. Depression is sometimes having no appetite even though you haven't eaten all day, and sometimes eating everything in the fridge then beating yourself up for eating so much. Depression is lying in bed with your matted to your forehead, the sheets twisted around you, your teeth has gone unbrushed for days. It's wanting to get out of bed, but physically unable to. It's sitting at the dinner table, not eating knowing that you are ruining their evening as they ask over and over what is wrong because you can't seem to snap out of it and just be happy.
Depression is having no energy or motivation to do things you used to enjoy doing. Depression is being thirsty and hungry and having no motivation to get up and take care of your own needs. Shaving no motivation to maintain basic hygiene. Depression is self isolation the guilt as you tear yourself from your love ones not wanting to be a burden. Depression is insomnia. Suicidal thoughts. Tiredness Good Fatigue Irritability Worthlessness